Natural High

There is something about walking through life seemingly unseen.

Walking endlessly about, a drifter.

It is a natural high.

If you have never been high, or witnessed someone under the influence, you are fortunate, or unfortunate in a sense.

A high can be described in two ways.

The first: rushing, surging confusion, and out of control-ness.

Number two: a sense of peace, being, yet not being, you don't need to think, yet you may be vulnerable.

Still your content, feeling completely in control, or not. Which ever you prefer. 

And here is what the dictionary has to say:

1. having a great or considerable extent or reach upward or vertically; lofty; tall: a high wall.

 

2.having a specified extent upward: The apple tree is now 20 feet high.

 

3.situated above the ground or some base; elevated: a high platform; a high ledge.

 

4.exceeding the common degree or measure; strong; intense: high speed; high color.

 

5.expensive; costly; dear: The price of food these days is much too high.

 

Not completely off the mark I would say.

 

"Do you love this shit?"

"Are you high right now?"

"Do you ever get nervous?"

 - Drake

 

I think you should know reader, I don't do drugs.

Right now..

I'm walking through life kinda dazed. 

I wrote this in 5th period. It escapes my memory what we did.

Dazed, lost, whatever.

Have you ever been sleeping in the darkness and suddenly your mom flips the lights on?

Did you suddenly become angry? That's not what you wanted, right?

You wanted to stay in the dark, the coolness. 

You wish so much that the contentment filling your soul stay there like how the waves of the ocean trickle into the places between your toes ever so slowly and aw-striking. 

If you leave a tiger out in the sun, trapped, on a boat, and starved for weeks, barely getting by, provoked it with a stick and was bearing the massive canines it possessed at you but you didn't back off, that is how I felt today.

 

Who said I wanted my lights turned on?

 

I am like a deep sea fish.

I am the fish suddenly yanked from the depths of my home, my safety, my high.

 

 

A high is a numbness that over comes you. But atleast you are feeling something.

...Or trying not to.

I used to be wanting someone to notice, practically begging. 

But, no.

Not anymore. I'm content. I'm content with my constant battle.

I'm the tiger that  leaps into the depths of the unknown ocean.

Trying not to drown. 

 

But, in between your terror of drowning and accepting the fact you may not survive..

you learn to swim.