Last Conversations

Your looked me in my eyes;
Holding my face tenderly in your hands.
I was forced to meet your stare.

You told me that I was strong.
And that you never meant to leave me.
You had always planned  on staying by my side.

We took each other in as we hugged goodbye.
I really hate goodbyes.

I remember finding your note.
You had slipped it into my bag.
It was rushed and risky.

By the time I made it out of class that day.
It was too late.

I already knew when I got the call.
It was just white noise filling my ears.
You were gone.

It was like the conversation I never got to start. 
It was just you.
You on your own selfish time deciding that you weren't going to be able to make it one more day.

I would never have done that to you...

It was the conversation I never got to finish.

 You can only run in circles so long.
Neither wanting to admit you were wrong; this was never going to work out.

It was realizing that we couldn't make it any longer.
Just cold and silent acceptance of the future.
A future without each other.

It was you walking away,
Walking away without an, "I love you."

I never saw you again..
Just the conversation on replay.

It was me and you laying up against a tree.
You told me I looked different than before you left.
And I thanked him because I didn't like the way I looked before.

And I told him that he broke my heart.
I didn't cry because I had done enough of that.
For once I felt strong; like maybe I could do this on my own.

It was the conversation that I never imagined would be our last.



I buried my head in my pillows and cried.
Because I knew that it was acceptable to cry at a death.

I had never been around death.
I was never afraid of it though.
 I was young but old enough to know..

 It was the conversations that I took for granted.

You told me that, Of course you wouldn't forget me! 
And that I would see you again..
You spoke of how we would stay in touch no matter what.
 And how I was so loyal.

You told me that you loved me with all your heart,
And that I was beautiful.
She said that she wouldn't let me fade away.

But if you planned on keeping me in your life; seeing me tomorrow,
Why would you say all that?

 I knew...
I knew that was the last conversation that I would ever have with you..