Not A Moment Left For Me..

I cannot tell you how many times I have sat in an:

Auditorium,

Theater,

Or a concert hall.

Well,

Actually.

I can.

14.

How can I tell you that?

I kept all my tickets.

I would watch quietly and intently with a big smile on my face.

It was a smile of pride in my friend.

Because I knew that what they were doing was making them happy.

And I was happy to be there. 

I would cheer and scream.

I know you could hear me above the rest. 

After the show, I would usually give roses.

Because, I know I would want them..

But it seems...

There is not a moment left for me..

I have spent a thousand hours on:

A pool deck,

A soccer field,

Basketball bleachers,

And football stadium benches. 

Because, I love you.

And I would do anything for you.

I have gone in all types of weather.

I was freezing.

I was burning. 

But through it all,

I was cheering.

I would write your jersey number on my face, and make sparkling T-shirts.

I would sit in the grass with an Arizona tea in hand, music in my ears,

Wishing only for your success.

Waiting to yell, "Goooooallll!"

Yet, there doesn't seem to be a moment left for me...

I would give hugs and hold towels.

I would feel awkward at times, like I didn't belong.

But that isn't true.

Team members would watch me, the intruder.

The interloper. 

But they wouldn't know..

They wouldn't know that I know the same stories they do.

I may have even been apart of some.

I know things that no one else knows.

They don't know I'm the girl behind the scenes.

I'm the one ready to fix a broken heart..

Ready to prevent a fight...

Ready to be...

A lover.

I'm their biggest fan.

I would come to your house with soup when you were sick.
I would feed you when I knew you would be hungry,
I would hold you when I knew you would have a melt down any second..
I called to stop you from swallowing those pills..
..From pulling that trigger.
And I know you would do it for me...
I...
I know it..

And it hurts inside to write this..

Because sometimes I feel like,

There isn't a moment left for me...