Fairy Tale

She lives in a fairy tale,

Too far away for us to find.

Anonymously angry towards everyone.

Noise.

Noise will soon be cast to the streets.

So, tonight I will run away,

And find the sister piece of me.

Slowly slipping,

But laughing helps.

Only on the inside,

Because the hole in my heart is at least a mile wide.

Make the world your own.

You can't do that with blood stained hands,

Or tears in your eyes.

I'm an untamed dreamer.

Come and get me.

Changed;

For the nightmares hold me close.

Rise from the ashes.

Here comes a rose.

The only time I feel pretty,

Is when I lay in your arms,

Or pull your sweatshirt over me.

It makes me feel tiny..

It makes me believe...

Or maybe this is all just a fairy tale.

It's taking place in a place far away from you.

You'll never reach me.

The jokes on you..

I don't tell them anything.

(Anymore.)

There's nothing I can really say.

Maybe someday,

You will be the one.

I think the bigger guys are happier.

They are so much better at giving hugs. 

Not a curse,

But I'm reminding myself of all my blessings. 

No need to feel alone..

Not tonight.

Lost and never found.

Tangled up in a fairy tale.

Does it really exist?

Someone please tell me if,

Life gets better than this..

I debate it a lot..

I just want to scream.

I just for once want everyone to stop.

STOP.

And just listen to me!

God sent me a dream,

And in it was you.

I'm holding onto the closure.

Don't you dare say that you ever loved me too.

Sunshine that's broken.

What does that look like to you?

Hopelessly running.

 I woke up this morning,
And my heart was on fire.
I gave myself a tattoo.
It looks just like barbwire.

Fix me.
But when I learn how to breathe again,
I don't want to hear anyone talk.

Hurt comes in waves,
Crashing down on an unsuspecting victim.
Girl.
Trapped.
Never alone forever.

I live in a fairy tale,
It's too far away for you to find.
I'm here, but escaping to the back of my mind.

Fears Vs. Dreams

Hello faithful Blogspot.com followers!
    Wow. This is so much easier than trying to write a poem. Hopefully, there will only be a few poems thrown into this little post. Just for the heck of it, of course. I'm going to try this out. (You know. The whole talk-to-them-don't-give-them-Confucian-metaphor-shit.) So for the thirty of you who read often, and the ones who pop in from time-to-time, I hope you enjoy. The least you can do is, JustListen.

I've been thinking a lot. Fears vs. Dreams.  If you're thinking to yourself, "Gosh! That sounds vaguely familiar," you would be correct. Fears vs. Dreams is a branch of "To Write Love On Her Arms." They aim to remind you that you should never give up on life, and that YOU as an individual are worth loving whether it be by others or just learning to love yourself. It's like...Coming to terms with who you are, but in a positive way. The whole experience is meant to help you grow. Need an example? Ok. Let's start with me.

Fear: Having no one to turn to 

Dream: Love myself

Seems easy enough right? Well, that little bit took me about twenty minutes. I have so many fears and insecurities that it was really hard to choose. I had to think, "Which one would I want to rid myself of most?"

And as for dreams. That one wasn't as tough but, there was a point in my life where I was just like, "Ok. This is it. What is there to look forward to now?" Sometimes I truly did believe there was nothing left for me. But, that is a different story..

To Write Love On Her Arms.

Is that what you preach?

How can you even say that?

You have put so much distance between us,

I'm out of your reach.

Fears vs. Dreams.

 

What happens when my fears come like Hell descending on me?

Are all my dreams just going to drown in smoke?

Which one is the devil?

My fears or my dreams?

Because everything and everyone aren't always what they seem..

Please: STAY ALIVE

There's not much I can do.

I'm only one me.

And I'm not very important to a lot of people,

So that's not helping my case much..

Yeah, that didn't rhyme very well,

But rhymes aren't so important when you are trying to save a life.

I got lost in the dark,

And I couldn't find myself.

Until I found myself wondering, 

"How do I save a life?"

 

How did I answer that question? How could I? I needed to start with me. To Write Love On Her Arms has this new campaign that I am REALLY excited about. Please: STAY ALIVE. Genius right? I've probably said that a hundred times. 

A hundred times.  

That's scary right? I think it is. It scares me that at one point someone I love was ready to give up. 

But why didn't you? 

You had FEARS. 

And guess what else you probably had?

DREAMS.

But if you didn't have either of those, don't get mad at me for it. I'm just blogging. And you are, JustListening.

This month was suicide awareness month. And honestly, I should wear my freaking "LOVE IS THE MOVEMENT" T-Shirt every single day of my life. I really do believe that. Maybe if we just start loving everyone and everything around us, everything will turn out peachy. I don't really know. I do know that we should love ourselves. 

 

I love you. Please: STAY ALIVE.

Love,

          JustListen

 

How To Say Nothing With All Of Your Heart

Bleach blond locks,
Beauty to you is such a wild fantasy.
Whiskey and sleeping pills follow you from the night,
Into the back of your mind the next day.

It wasn't your fault,
He just called the cops first.
Jump town to escape the pain,
It's hard to believe that the victim can also be framed.

Together in the grey of light,
I reach for his fingers; wrapping my tiny hand around just one.
Heartbeat's fast; mine is ever so still.
We lock weary eyes, comfortable with the ominous chill.

Yet another doctor; knowing not what to do.
Collecting loose change to pay my own bills.
Rolling my eyes while nurses hook me up to more machines.
I want to scream.

Tell them to cut the poking and prodding me,
Because I'm through.
My visit to the pearly gates is long overdue. 

My eyes are up here, but please don't look at the bruises.
Fade out, and hope for a better life next time around.
Sometimes you have to let yourself break into a million pieces..
So that you can put yourself back together again.

In cased by freedom; thinking anything is something you can do.
The smoke's not clearing,
It's just turning to tension thick as fog.
Maybe it's because you just stopped caring.

Sometimes in the process of helping everyone,
You need to learn to love yourself too.

As I shout out my fears; sixbillion insecurities,
No one is listening.
I should have known right from the start..
So, I'll just be saying nothing with all of my heart.