Sometimes

Sometimes when I am alone,
I sit.
And
Think.

I think about all the people I used to know.

I ask myself.
"Do they miss me?"
 And I come to the conclusion of..
 "No.
No. They don't."

We would sit in the silence,
Just us three.

I always wanted something.
A place to belong.
Someone  who would understand,
Even when I was wrong.

Softer

Hold my hand,
And run with my.
Until the time,
When love won't hurt so bad.

It won't break my heart anymore.

Kiss me soft.
Like a flower beginning to bloom.
Teach me to be who I am.

After all, I am in my most impressionable hour of life.

It's not enough just to listen anymore.

I want to sing and dance.
I want to be heard.

Please don't say a word.


I'm softer,
The world has taken a different view.
I'm softer.

Softer than I once was.

Until We Have Faces

You are sure as Hell,
But I'm waiting on Heaven.

You're world is falling apart,
But to me it seems as if everything is together.

Dreams are like journals,
They never really tell you what you want to know.
Or they reveal things you don't want to believe,
When you dream, do they ever remind you about me?

You never wanted to dance with me,
But you ran up to her.
Maybe I'm mixing up my past and my present.
But the only difference is the faces have changed; our time together evanescent.

Your body looks so frail and thin.
The impression you made on my heart is fading away.
That's it. Game over. I win.

Your soul is still too young to dream.

I know it's late.
But, will you count me in?
Put a face on my heart.
Whose face do you see?

Pain ripples through my heart,
Like a never ending parade of thunder.
It's all so sad..

All of my tears are trying to take me under.

I Will Feel So Bad To Go

There's a girl somewhere deep inside me.
My life is just one big tragic rerun.
Hurry, don't help.
All of my insecurities are crashing on in. 

What's left to say...
What little is left for you not to do...
All of my suicidal tendencies are poking on through.

Fix me.
Save me.
Don't let me push you away...
But when you push harder, that really doesn't make me want to stay.

I can't do this.
Let's be honest.
I deliver kisses to the kings.

It's a feeling I have..
And I can't really explain why it is there.

But it's pushing me.
Hoping to break me.
What happens now?

You make me mad.
Sad.
I just can't put back all the pieces.

Don't feel bad for me.
I want to go.

12 October, 2012

Today was a good day.
I got home.
Nobody fought,
And there was no sign of anyone's depression.

Today I got invited to a party.
I painted a beautiful picture.
Nobody complained,
And it started to rain.

Today I modeled.
I came home to cupcakes.
Nobody denied my request to order ham pizza for dinner,
And I found a great pair of jeans at the thrift store. 

Today was a good day.
I was happy.

In Remembrance of Me

You better hurry and find me,
You're time is running out soon,
All of these words are suffocating me inside of my room.

Don't get married in white,
You are not all that pure.
I'm turning my back on you; you I no longer adore.

My happiness is fleeting,
I really want to go.
I can't look out to my future without seeing a shadow waiting on my front door.

Don't feel bad for me.
I live in the state of depression,
In a depression,
Where everyone is praying for an end to this recession. 

Give me a chance.
Let me show you my world.
Help me to blossom, like a flower petal beginning to uncurl.

All of these emotions are pouring out of me.
It tears be apart inside because none of you can see.
This is just the saddest part of life:
When nobody remembers that you are alive.

Don't Twist My Thoughts

I miss the days when she didn't wear so much makeup.
I miss the way her face was without drugs, alcohol, and so many boys chasing her.
And all I can see now is an old soul, who would rather not deal with me.

I remember when you would cry.
You didn't believe me.
I always told you that you were beautiful.
Did it take the world's approval for you to finally understand?

A shiver goes down my back; like a sinner newly saved.

My world turns,
Blanketed in darkness.
I wonder what my life was like,
Before I saw the sun.

Here I kneel,
I'm tired and weak,
Though my heart may fail.
My prayers I lay,
Before the Son.

Small in stature,
Feel my might.
My eyes burn with questions,
As bright as the sun.

There's got to be a world;
A world better than this.
My life would be so much better if I had never gone on that date I was debating to miss.

I would like to believe that I am beautiful.
I would like to think that I am not fat,
Or that I am worth it to you to keep our friendship persisting.

I would like to think that I am still the same person even though all my thoughts are twisting.

I promised you.

I'd always be there.

But I think you've forgotten me.

So,

Is it OK if I slip away?

I am that girl.

Would you expect it from me?

I'm, "Nice."

I'm, Sweet."

If you had to pick whose would be empty the next day...

Would it be my seat?