Trapped

Here you find yourself;
Trapped in another guy's room.
You wonder if you will ever sleep tonight.
Dollars; you have to make a few.

Kisses like poison.
Your feelings have been played too hard,
And you have been hurting too long.
Your moral compass is broken.

Nothing seems wrong.

You were never good with creating mirrors with smoke.
You laugh at yourself and ask if this life is a joke.

You curl into yourself,
And you press your back away from him.
Looks like your love has gone cold.
But if you're going to play games with me...

Your story will not go untold. 

A boney spine is the outcome of what you do.
The scars on your arms highlight your veins of blue.
And I'll just pull you inclose because I understand you.

I will hold you like Katniss; the way Katniss holds Rue.

Your a game inside a puzzle;
A piece within chess.
Now go out and find your next victim,
Put on that tight dress.

You are blinded by faith and light.
When are you going to wake up?
You are trapped in an empty space;
A boxer with no one in her corner.

     Wake up;
                   Wake
                    Up
                   To
                  Face

             The
                   Horror. 

Pass Me A Note Sweetheart (Because I'm Always Here)

Alright.
Okay.
Let's burn some more bridges today.

I've fallen off the ledge,
I'm grasping onto two ropes.
One is pulling me up while I hold onto the other by the fingertips.
What happens when he cuts his own throat?

Sweetheart, what are you doing?
What...What are you doing to yourself?

Why can't you see who you are hurting?
You are hurting everyone, and you're pushing them away.
I'm picking up the casualties of people who are trying to save you.

I can't save you.
But I know you want to listen.
Do you want to hear my voice again?
God.. I'd sure love an answer. 

I can see you.
You're pale with a glow of lost in your eyes.
That's not how you see yourself. 
But, you're a mirror of what I once was and:

The
Mirror
Never
Lies.

I lay myself down with a strange person,
Very unfamiliar to me.
He was your best friend one though, right?

I think he came in somewhere between loving me and losing me.
You just want to replace me.

Pass me a note,
Because I know you think about me.

Do you feel bad?
Are you sad when you stop thinking about me?

Yes?
No?
Maybe?
So?

You're wrapped up in it.
And that is such a dangerous thing to do; nothing I can do.
I can stay pushed into the back of your mind.

But for how long?
 Everything has turned out so horribly wrong.
I've missed you ever since I decided that you were long gone.

I'm always here.
But that's something that you don't want me to be.
I'll just be that ghost of a best friend; lost in your own identity.  

13 Reasons Why

I'm so caught up in giving in,
I'm looking for an easy way out.
But, nothing.
Nothing is ever easy.

I keep saying to myself,
"Let me go. And then the rest will follow."
My heart is so weak and hollow.

I can't reach out anymore.
You all let me slip away.
13 Reasons Why.

Darlings, I made the tapes.

I don't want to hurt you.
You are all too sweet.
So I'll push them in a corner,
They will be mine forever to keep.

13.
Reasons.
Why.
..Maybe this will save me from truly saying goodbye. 

Rocky Horror Picture Show

All of my hate got caught on
       A
              Wrinkle
                             In
           Time.

Late at night;
Early morning's noon.
I ponder my future, alone in solitude.


If it were up to me..
No one would have to go hungry;
                           Searching
                                            An
                                                     Empty

                                                                     Pantry.

The wooden floors,
Allow for visitors to easily be heard.
Should this scare me?

Is life coming back at me for
                     Round
                  Two
Of
                   A Lesson
Well
Learned?

The walls stare back at me.
They wait to hear me scream.

I listen for the moon
    With.
         No.
            Reply. 

I listen to my memories
 Singing
           Lullabies. 

Twelve-oh-nine in the night time,
This is a perfect time for me.

I read the letters over and over.

I'm trying
 To find
                           Peace
                         Within
                     Me.

I hum to the wind chimes.
I created them you see.
Their tiny box advertizes:

Peace,
              Love
                         & Harmony.

I'm just trying to find all that inside of me.

Lay me down to sleep,
I pray to Lord that you not
     Let
Me
     Weep.

Let the beads catch the light,
I'll force a smile with all my might.

Someone's
        No
 Longer
                         Watching
               Out
                         For
                                       Me.

Kiss me.
Kiss me.
Now you're going to miss me.
    How cruel.

Everything
      In
 That
                    Statement
 Is
       True
             For
You.

Now do you just miss me?

My mind is best described as:
A
      Rocky
                                Horror
       Picture
                  Show.

See Me (The Photographer's Lover)

Messing around with a camera,
A click catches his smile.
I'm alright with this.
He can stay awhile.

Words are unnecessary,
They just get in the way.
We're running on a week here.
Doesn't really matter to me how long you stay.

I'm addicted.
I know you are too.
What is this going to be?
Are we really seeing this through?

You had to go,
Promised me you'd be right back.
Tiny tears began to fall from my eyes.
What is it that I really lack?

See me smile.
I'll believe you.
 I'll ignore all this denial.

  
Running on the fumes of candy and energy bars,
Wondering how much longer you can survive like this.
Pressing on anyways,
Pushing your limits. 

Beaches are the best places to mend a broken heart.
Or the worst,
Depending on if you reflect or reminisce..

Cry and blame it on some sand in your eyes.
It doesn't matter to me.
I just want you to be OK in the end.

We have another broken heart on the mend.

Come take a walk;
A walk on the dark side with me.

I'll show you something,
But if I do,
You have to promise not to run away.

You have to promise me you'll stay...

I wish I would have fought for more things than I let slip away.

Take me for what I am;
A firework packed with secrets just waiting to explode.

Someone help me,
I'm carrying a heavy load.

I hear you wear your heart on your sleeve.
I only wear tank tops.
Sorry to disappoint.

Beaten down underdog;Without anyone by her side.
All the while smiling..
I'm too high on life.

Somewhere through all these search lights,
I find my guiding light.

Scrolling down past names on a cellphone,
I shall never call any of them again.
These people hurt me most.

My heart was on the mend...

"Smile. Your beautiful."
What should that mean to me?
Beauty is only skin deep.
My body once again becomes my enemy.

See me.
You can't take you eyes of that camera lens.
You can't see me;
The me who is going to end up hurt in the end.

I left so many things in life unfinished.
I am stupid,
Because my heart thinks faster than my brain can.

But it's my heart telling me when to run.

That's where living hits me hard.
My lips are covered with battle scars.
Boxes and boxes of pictures; trying to find a person left in one of them that means something to me..

...That I meant something to.

Don't take this the wrong way.
Maybe I just don't have a picture of you. 
Or maybe you didn't have the heart to see me through.

See me.
Me who I am.

Don't change the lighting.
Don't airbrush my trials or hid my truths.
I'm the photographer's lover.
Everyone should know not to judge a book by its cover.

And He Told Me We'd Name Her Ireland

I stood by my kitchen sink,
I scrounged through the empty drawers.

I heated up another night's dinner consisting of Top Ramen.  
I prayed, "God, don't let him hit me again. Please. Thank you. Amen."

I remember the days when I believed in love,
But it's alright.
Don't worry.
I'm fine.

I remember laying on the beach,
Two couples kissing in harmony.

I remember the touch of his hands, Dear.
I remember him wanting me.

I asked him, "What if I get pregnant?"
He said,"Don't worry, Baby. It's fine!"
And he told me we'd name her Ireland.

I really thought we had a future,
But it turns out our relationship was just an example of internal destruction of Cupid's architecture. 

He left me alone,
And I thought, "Just let me die here."
There was a baby inside of me.

I sat in the heat of day,
All my options spiraling around in my head.
I knew that I had made my own bed.

He left me for some life; a life that stayed very near.
This life came with a slut named Layla.
Days later, I wore a black veil.

It turns out that's just how our story turned out; a broken fairy tale.

Everything I knew had been turned upside down.
So, I went to go jump of a bridge.
There was a man running in the fog.
But I couldn't see him, because of all the smog.

In the distance I heard, "Don't worry, Baby. It's fine!"
While I felt two arms wrap around me.
I knew, I wanted him to be mine.

He said, "I've always loved the name, Ireland."
And that was good enough for me.

This man, he taught me how to dance.
And I couldn't believe my luck now.

I'd been given another chance.

He wasn't the man of my dreams,
I'll make that very clear.
But if I wished it to be so; I wished very hard,
It was as if life had dealt me all the right cards.

When the times get rough,
I close my eyes and think.
I think about my future.
And I think of my unborn baby girl.

Ireland is the place that I have always wanted to be at.
I want to admire all the gingerly hair.
I will run with the dogs that hunt wolves. 

The gentle man told me to keep my head up.
While he sang me down to sleep.
I thought I'd never see the day.

So...

I'll name my baby Ireland.
That way I'll be able to see the land of a thousand welcomes everyday.
I'll greet my infant with joy.

The lad reassured my fears that everything I thought I knew was wrong.
But he said,"Baby please try and see, that I'm going to try my best for you and me."
I needed to be Wych Elk tree strong.

I prayed to God.
He communicated to me that we will one day move into the highlands.

I don't think about him much these days
Because he doesn't mean a thing anymore.

That name sounds so beautiful.

It's funny how I once imagined him to be my future husband.
It was on that night when I slept on his chest; when I held his hand in my hand.

And he told me we'd name her Ireland.

Midsummer Night's Dream

Grass under my bare feet,
Two brothers and a sister by my side.
I look past the holes in the backyard fence,
Knowing that not far away is the boy and girl that made me the victim of their love's hit-and-run.

A hammock swings, occupied.
Every exhale is noticeably tinged with the smells of beer.
But it is my older sister who is glowing.
It is a comfort to her knowing we are here.

Walking inside,
The cake has been neatly dissected with only a few flipped over casualties;
Those pieces are simply left unclaimed and rejected.
Champlain is being poured as the young couple smiles.
The rest of the family and I pour a glass, getting a nice buzz on for awhile. 

We stand in the corner of the kitchen;
Politely shaking hands with the men and woman who claim to know us.
We reminisce; laughing a great deal.

Our stomachs mumble as strength leaves us.
Everyone is leaving.
The busy mother of the bride wraps up to go bags for those who depart early.
The father of the bride is nowhere in sight.

Glass shatters; an heirloom is broken.
Fortunately, my oldest brother puts himself out there for me, taking the blame.
Beer cans drop on the floor,
And it is laughs all around.
How very little there is to worry about.  

I've never liked lasagna.
Until I ate it in the dark.

There is a very high possibility that I will never love a lasagna as much as I loved that one.

All other guests have finally cleared out.
Leaving just a jumpy mother and the rest of my siblings.
I came to terms along time ago that this man would one day become my brother.

The backyard is lit with dangling lights.
Candles illuminate the tables.
We eat in the darkness; but not in silence.  

Pandora takes the role of entertainment.
It is an endless cycle of the songs I grew up with.
Jackets and coats engulfed all of us,
While I caught the table on fire.

The croaking of frogs make us feel like we are in a different time and place,
Occasionally knocking back another cold one,
We would tell another story.
I'd give anything to have stayed forever, in that moment.
Everything was perfect.

It was a midsummer night's dream.