Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Noah's Poem

The only certain thing in life is death.
And in death there is life little boy.
A life that lovers spend all their time trying to know.
Run and run, His kingdom has come.

I whisper promises in his ear.
Promises in the form of scripture.

Lover of God,
Mother of God,
Raise my boy in your grace and mercy.
He is but a child a child so sweet.

We are all so small.
I'm scared to let you go.

Don't fear death.
And I will always remember.
Not the bones I see through your skin,
A whipped horse bears a heavier shame than you.

I wish I knew what I am trying to say,
What I am trying to get out, what I will no longer refrain.

Your so beautiful.
God, hear all of our prayers.

Take me,
I give it all to you.

Let me play God.
If only for a moment.
I want to bear the struggles that he faces.
Let me feel his pain so that he make come out of this smiling and unscathed. 


Wednesday, January 16, 2013

I Am A Lady In Spain

I am in love with a boy.
And his smile brings me joy.

His eyes are blue, like chlorine.
And if you look hard enough, they soften,

And you can see me.

 I am a lady in Spain.
Sunlight falls on me like an acidic rain.

A girl glares at me with her heavily lined eyes.
They look like a big pair of black sunglasses.

And I wonder if you can see past your own pride.

I shout out through smokers who come to here me sing.
They throw tips in my jar, right up to the brim.

And I wave goodbye to them to find life anew.

I am the tender of the bar.
Vodka is beginning to send me into a peaceful place.

And I daydream about cradling the stars. 





Saturday, January 12, 2013

I was here.

Where does my confidence lay.
Everything around me seems to fade away.

I thought the abuse was over.
I thought that I could live for another, brighter day.

I was here..
Will anyone really know? 

I was going through some photographs.
And I stopped when I found one of you.

The things that I remember seem so unsure.
I question everything around me.
I'm sorry, for awhile you had me very well fooled.

I wish I knew how to get up after a punch,
But my I never can seem to get my legs up underneath me.

I lay there until my world grows dark,
And the walls are all done spinning.

The blood in my mouth is nothing.
It's a painful reminder of what could have been.

Things fall apart.
That's no one's fault..

Love has killed a dreamer.





Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Crashed

3:50 PM
78 MPH
Hollywood Fwy 170
January 1, 2013

Cars pass by,
They whirl all around me.
Now that I have set the scene,
Come along for the ride.

A white, elderly, bald man lags next to me,
Dry cleaning hanging on the little bars in the back seat that as a little girl,
I used to dangle or attempt a pushup on. 

A blonde girl around seventeen sits up at the edge of her seat; riding passenger.
Her spine is straight as a board.
She's pretty, but wears a skirt too tight for a date.
No doubt she is dressed to impress the boy driving his mom's Toyota truck.

An Asian couple drifts in and out of my blind spot in a red Subaru.
I find this couple opposites of the young boy and girl.
The man wears a tie and the woman rests her head in her hands in a deep sleep.
These two are comfortable with each other.

A minivan cruses comfortably in front of me.
It's a family.

I take my eyes off them to admire the shinny new cars in the Volvo of Calabasas.
I pat the dash of my old car.
She's old, yes.
But we are making good time.

The family looks like it consists of a little boy, no older than three,
And an older sister wrapped up in a blanket.  
Her mouth is open and drooling like a freshly caught
Fish.

The younger of the two sisters sits in the front seat writing and listening to her iPod.

The dad is very hispanic,
Mom appears to be pregnant again while she sits in the backseat,
Tending to a fussy little girl no older than
A year.

I continue to drive along this freeway,
And I can't help but think that I will never see,
Any of these people again.
In my life.

The three year old presses his hand up against the car window and smiles at me.

I enjoy acknowledging others,
Because even if they think no one cares,
I did.

My eyes scan the roads again.
I take in everything around me in a matter of seconds.

I can't help but wonder if these people around me have analyzed me the same way when,
    (I
       Wasn't
                  Looking.)

Everyone around me seems pleasantly content in there own shell of protection.
I almost wish I could reach out and touch their cars,
As if just by doing that,
I could be accepted into their lives.

The car to the side of me takes the next off ramp.
It seems stupid to say but,
I was a little emotionally attached.
Saddened.

But then I realize,
We are not connected.

All these people want of me is to continue west to their:
         Homes,
Dinners,
Dates,
Families,
and parties.

We are all so unconnected...

                        Until I hear a:
                                         .
                                         .
                                         .
                                               
Smash.
                              .

                            .
                                    .
                               A skid.
                                             .
                                       .
                                              . 
                                            .
 
And a scream escape my lips.

We are all so unconnected until a sudden crash,
Brings us all together.